Personal Life Update #1

I’m someone who always keeps myself busy—whether that's AP classes, theater, volleyball, or student council. I haven’t had much downtime recently to update my blog, so apologies! Here are a few more in-depth and personal updates about me.

AP Exams? More like AP Crams

1 Performance Down, 4 More to Go

The More Ya Know...

Comment Question

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AP Exams? More Like AP Crams

As a sophomore in high school, I currently take 2 AP classes. On top of that, I am taking 3 more next year. I've noticed that there is a big difference between AP and accelerated classes. This year I have felt so much stress over studying for my AP exams and having to see the stress my teachers had to cram the last bits of units in. I love all my teachers this year, and they all do such a great job of teaching and being in-depth, but sometimes they spend a little too much time going in-depth. That's why, in the past couple of weeks before my exams, the tension inside and outside the classroom was intense. Once exam day came, I was extremely nervous. The night before my first AP exam, I could barely sleep. I was so anxious that I just laid in bed wide awake. Somehow once the exam began, something surprising happened: the stress lifted. It turns out, I was more than prepared. I'm a good student who works hard and earns A’s. I had no reason to be so afraid. My second exam was still stressful, but I walked out feeling proud and calm. That moment helped me realize: stress is normal—but it shouldn’t take over your emotions. You are more capable than your fears let you believe.

1 Performance Down, 4 More to Go

I have performed in my school's spring musicals and fall plays since high school. I love every moment on stage and backstage with my fellow cast members. I just wrapped up my last show of this school year—and when I did the math, I realized I only have four performances left in high school. That being said, I wanted to share my favorite memories and things about this most recent performance.

This year I played the lead female, Olive Ostrovsky, in the musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Last year I played a loud, energetic and dramatic character, but this year’s role was totally different.

Olive is quiet, introverted, and shy—basically the opposite of me. I am very expressive and extroverted, so having to tone down my personality was a hard task for me. It was a challenge. I had to step back from my natural personality and really ask: Who is Olive? How would she feel in this moment?  By opening night, I felt like she was truly authentic and real. I made her my own, but I also found pieces of myself in her.

Olive has a couple of moments of showing her inner emotions when she sings. One main moment where you get to see how she feels is during her emotionally heart-wrenching ballad, "The I Love You Song".

It's a song about how broken her family life was and how she was always tossed aside. Now, don't get me wrong, I have such a loving and supportive family, but I do sometimes feel those emotions of wanting to be seen and wondering, "am I good enough?" Another song I sang about as Olive was called "Second" and, as you could probably guess, it's about feeling like she is always second best. This song described certain emotions in me more than ever. To me, I always believed second was the first to lose. I used to think of it more so in the glass half-empty kind of way. Whether it is because I get second in a sports competition or a student council election, or just life in general, I leave myself wondering when I will finally be good enough to be first. These are some of my deeper emotions that I think are over-exaggerations I make when I am in "my feels", but they are still valid emotions. There is one lyric of Olives that changed my entire perspective on being second:

“I'll lose and that's the story, but we are equals.”

This is Olive's way of saying that her worth isn't measured by what trophies she wins. Yes, she lost, but at the end of the day she is not a lesser human being because she got second place.

The More Ya Know....

Overall, life has been pretty good lately! I've made new friends, I've started to create some new pottery pieces in ceramics, and I got elected for vice president of student council! Of course not everything has been perfect, but by focusing on the positive, the negative moments don't seem as bad! Here are a couple of my favorite photos I took this month!

Comment Question

Down below I want you to let me know your favorite part of this week. I also want you to tell me how you are feeling about finals coming up soon!